An Alternative Birthday in 2020

 I have been quite busy with customer quilts which I assume means that Christmas is coming. I had a couple of really big ones including a denim one complete with pockets and rivets. The seams were bulky and I only hit one rivet, breaking a needle. It took a while to get the tension right which was a matter of finding a reliable Madeira thread and using a size 100 universal needle, surprisingly not a jeans needle. The finished quilt felt as hefty as a weighted blanket at 4.5kg! 

The other quilts were smaller so I used denser patterns. I also quilted a Snowflake quilt which was almost identical to mine. The pattern was called “Origami” from www.urbanelementz.com and I really like how it looks quite Nordic. 

It was Nella’s 17th birthday on Saturday so Freya and I arranged to have several visits with her throughout the day instead of the usual one hour slot. She was allowed to go for short drives in the car but not to get out. We were all worried that it would be a terribly sad day but in fact it was lovely, although unconventional to unwrap gifts in the car and have birthday candles without a cake. Here’s hoping that her birthday in 2021 will be more “normal”!

Keep the Quilts Coming!

The rate at which customer quilts are coming in proves that Christmas is looming! I am not doing any in-person tuition or DIY quilts but I am able to offer simple all-over quilting and binding if requested. This week I have managed to complete 4 quilts for a Welsh customer and have got a really big denim one ready to do for a new client. Nessie thinks she is being helpful by trying to attack any wadding that hangs down or by attempting to chew the zips while I try to attach the backing.

I finished the binding on the snowflake quilt with machine-sewn blanket stitch. It does not bother me that the stitching does not line up exactly on the back of the quilt because it is for a bed and just has to be robust. I could do with another new project to keep me happy. I really don’t “need” any more quilts but since when did that stop a quilter from starting something new?

I spent an afternoon cooking home-made soup and vegetarian cottage pie because Nella was given a 24 hour “pass” home to see how she would manage. She was very nervous to come home after nearly a month in hospital and she declared in advance that she would not eat here. She said it was not just a matter of sticking to that resolve, she just did not see why she should have to eat here without the threat of NG feeding if she did not finish meals. We had a nice visit, although she did not see friends and she was unable to go for any dog-walks. We simply spent time doing a puzzle, played scrabble and watched a film in front of the fire. Nella did not want to back to the hospital and really does not want to believe that she is too ill to be at home, refusing food. This aspect of anorexia is called “anosognosia”, yet another complicated word associated with Nella’s condition. Her initial 3-4 week admission looks likely to be extended for up to 6 months, or less if she makes significant progress. All I can do is keep doing research to see if I can come up with a more creative approach and keep believing that she will be able to recover eventually.

Sewing for Sanity

I became totally engrossed in finishing the Snowflake quilt piecing. There is something very cheery about working with rainbow brights. There were 24 squares per block for 20 blocks so it went together relatively fast. I ordered a jazzy, wide backing fabric from Quilt Sandwich so the quilting could begin at the weekend. I decided to use the Bernina Qmatic to do an automated pattern called “Late Night” from urbanelementz.com and made it denser so it looks a bit like a modern snowflake design. It is a good job I have figured out how to stitch off the machine and realign between quilting sessions because it is quite a slow process.

Because I gave Freya some face masks to take with her to Glasgow, I decided I could do with a few more so I cut a few out using scraps. There are 3 layers and I use T-shirt jersey to make the ties. 

For the first time in a year I went for a proper haircut. I was told off for leaving it so long but I think I have a pretty good excuse. It was a weird experience going into a socially distanced salon with everyone in masks, separated by plastic screens. I had to lose 2 inches of length but at least my hair now does not feel quite so much like candy floss. 

Nessie and Fizz declared a temporary truce the other night and sat near each other without starting a chase. I have no idea why my cats have never put Nessie in her place so she thinks she can torment them at every opportunity. Bumble was intimidated by the cats by Nessie thinks it is all a great game. 

It is a good thing I can lose myself in my workshop sometimes because it has been another stressful week with Nella in hospital. The medical team just will not listen to me. Nella is so gripped by anorexia that she says she does not want to recover. They are insisting on big portions of hospital food which if she does not finish within a strict time limit , she is topped up by a traumatic NG tube feed. She says she is only eating some of the time to avoid having to endure this procedure 6 times a day. I have suggested that they reduce the portions so she might experience some successful meals and also that they should re-examine her medication but they are refusing to try that. All I can do is read / record chapters of an anorexia recovery book and email them to Nella. I feel that if I do plenty of research then maybe one day I can come up with something that may help. She has been given a 24 hour pass home this week to see if she will eat here instead but she is already insisting that she will not try. It is hard not to have a bleak outlook and lecture her on every visit. I am investigating all sorts of alternative therapies to break the pattern of not eating. The only cure is food  but the key is getting her to eat it!

Losing My Rag

Somehow I managed to get two simple customer quilts done this week. I also kept going with Duolingo German, walking Nessie, and have been ploughing through the snowflake piecing. I also made a couple of decent loaves of bread. 

The rest of the time has been spent on the phone trying to tell the hospital that nella genuinely HATES cheese. OK, so that is not all that has been discussed. I have been complaining - a lot. I have tried to contact members of her team who never call me back. I have got very angry, while remaining calm, with officious nurses who try to talk over me. 

Nella, who is severely anorexic and was recently on a food-phobic hunger strike is being expected to have her meals increased every two days, whilst already not managing. Despite being a strict vegan and accepting that she will have to just be vegetarian for now, every single sub-standard hospital meal is covered in cheese. Every meal must be completed within a strict 30 minutes. If she does not manage to clear her plate on time she is given a nasal-gastric feed under duress. It is barbaric and a whole lot of other things that I have eloquently expressed to the hospital, miraculously without using any expletives. 

I keep telling her that she has to try her very hardest to get back home as soon as possible. Some of the nurses are great, some are not. It is lovely that we have been receiving so many cards from friends and family who keep sending their good wishes for  recovery. 

Since she has been detained under the Mental Health Act, there is not a damn thing I can do about it. She is scared, confused, exhausted and totally lacking in motivation. I am simmering with fury at such a lack of compassion. I wonder who will be the first receive my wrath on Monday morning...